Wednesday, 20 July 2016

Goodbye to regrets

By this time last year, I was preparing for Miss Charismatic Nigeria 2015. I had been following them since 2014 before their second edition and I swore never to let 2015 pass me by. I was already involved in a pageant which I had my doubts for. So, I dissed it and went for MCN auditionbon Sat, 1st August, 2015 at Tiannah's Styling Place. I met so many beautiful ladies and I was among the chosen. I was so excited. I ran to my sister out of excitement. The chosen ones were called together and briefed. We were given our states and the rule book.
Being one of the contestants was something I've always dreamt of. I wanted nothing more. In as much as I wanted to be a beauty Queen, I had not built my confidence for such a role. I thought I was ready until the camp. During camp, I couldn't participate fully because of my Central tests in school(even though I missed some) and some serious malaria I tried pushing away lol.

Everyday l would say to myself "You could have won". I would condemn myself, query myself, slap myself(if possible lol) for not getting this one thing right. I was just filled with so much regret. You know that awkward moment when you have people looking up to you and you just keep getting this feeling that you've failed them.
Getting glammed up for finale

During the grand finale, I was so afraid. I've never been more afraid in my life. I couldn't believe I could be that shaky lol.I was supposed to make the first appearance as the first state but I wasn't anywhere near ready when I rushed off to the stage.
While on stage, I could literally feel tears almost dropping from my eyes. I felt like OMG!!! Notable people, Celebrities, everyone was staring at me. I managed to finish up my catwalk without falling.
After the top ten was called and I wasn't called, I WAS DEVASTATED, I went backstage trying to play cool. I tried to hold back tears until my sister came and I burst into tears. I was like "AFTER EVERYTHING, THE WHOLE STRESS I PUT HER THROUGH, THE TESTS I MISSED"
I discovered that things don't always work out the way we planned but life most go on. Most times, we tend to paint things as it favors us, we don't look at the other side. I bought that form with a winner mentality refusing to see the possibility of me not winning the crown. I didn't lose either way, I gained EXPERIENCE.
Experience is one thing that can never be taken from me. My experience in camp was awesome with different beautiful ladies, different personalities, different backgrounds. I had one of the best moments of my life in camp. I have no regrets whatsoever. Life is full of lessons, whatever you don't get today, you will get tomorrow and even better. It's almost a year and all I wish is for the next set of contestants to have the best moments.